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What led to my low self esteem…and maybe yours too

Discover why comparison can lead to low self esteem. Also find out how to combat this!

mountain hike edittedA good friend of mine once told me, “Comparison leads to one of two things: pride or dispair.”

I believe at the time this was a sidebar to the talk she was giving, but it has stayed with me for over a decade.

A few years after this quote, I heard another quote regarding comparison that had a similar impact on my life.

{Don’t compare your beginning to someone else’s middle or end.}

Over the past few years, God has taken me down some difficult paths. Paths where it was easy to look at other people’s lives with envy.

Most recently, we sold our family business. It was an Ace Hardware that we opened four and a half years ago. I poured my blood, sweat and tears into that place. I had birthday parties for my kiddos in the break room because we were just starting out and I couldn’t take the whole day off. My girls loved going to work with me and helping the cashiers or helping me move merchandise around. It was also one of my favorite jobs.

But it was also extremely difficult. Juggling 2 babies and a new business was difficult. The business not taking off as quickly as we planned was difficult. Watching other owners be successful with new product they tried while our sales were dismal at best was difficult.

During this time it was easy to compare our beginning to other owner’s middles and ends as there are owners who are friends of mine who have been in business their entire lives, and are extremely successful.

A month ago we sold the business to a great family here in Phoenix.

And to be honest it felt like a huge failure. Even now my eyes well up with tears that we didn’t “succeed.”

And the truth is, on paper we didn’t succeed. We failed.

As the one who managed day-to-day operations it was a huge letdown.

My inner voice hurled insults and stirred up lies about who I am, my worth, my value, my abilities.

Yes…you could say, I had “low self esteem.”

But in God’s perfect timing and design, He began open up my eyes to all the lessons I had learned, and He reminded me that although this is a difficult chapter in my life, it is not my whole story.

There are many chapters He has yet to reveal to me. Chapters that David tells us in Psalm 139, “were written in His book before one of them came to be.”

If I begin to compare my journey to those around me, mine looks so different. Mine has different twists and turn than my neighbors. I’ve been over different mountains and crossed different valleys.

But the amazing thing is…it is my journey.

More importantly, it is the journey God intended me to travel.

So why do I tell you all of this?

Because probably like me, your journey hasn’t always turned out like you hoped, dreamed or imagined. And in those moments it is easy to compare ourselves to others.

When life is great, it is easy to compare and feel great about ourselves while judging others. But when life is difficult, this same comparison can lead us to a dark place of low self esteem.

But the truth is, our value is not defined by our life’s journey. It is defined by our Creator.

Taking it further

If you want to dig deeper, I have created a free worksheet to accompany this blog and take the discussion further.  In the freebie, I’ll guide you through some questions, and give you some Scriptures to unlock the truth about who you are and how amazing you are!  Click here to request your copy!


In the comments I would love to hear what verses from Scripture you use to define your worth in the world.

5 comments on “What led to my low self esteem…and maybe yours too

  1. Love this! I needed to hear this right at this hour…

  2. speakinginfaith

    I am soooo glad it spoke to you 🙂 God bless you!!

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