Input Needed! Marriage Questions (for married and single peeps)

Hey, Friends! 

I am working on a few marriage topics for my blog, a wedding shower and a possible book idea.  And I’d love to have your input on a few questions.  Please feel free to answer as many or as few of the following questions as you would like. I will be giving away Carl’s CDs to five lucky winners (see details below)!  Also, feel free to answer anonymously.

Single peeps:

1.  What do you look forward to most about the possibility of marriage one day?

2.  What is your greatest fear about getting married one day?

3.  Do you hope to marry at some point?

4.  Have you ever been married?

5.  What does unconditional love look like?

6.  How do look forward to marriage while enjoying your singleness?

7.  Do you think you can prepare for marriage while you are single?  If yes, how? If no, why not?

Married folk:

1.  How long have you been married?

2.  What is the greatest part about being married?

3.  What advice would you give engaged couples about marriage?

4.  What holds your marriage together?

5.  What does unconditional love look like?

6.  What do you enjoy most about being married?

7.  How do you overcome hardships in your marriage?

Thanks for helping me out!  I really appreciate you taking the time to respond!  Also, please pass this along to anyone you know who would participate. 

To be entered in the drawing for a CD, simply answer one or more of the questions above. 

You can be entered in this drawing more than once by having your friends comment on this blog as well.

To be entered in the drawing more than once, please leave a comment answering one or more of the questions and tell me who you are sharing this blog with.  If the person you share with also comments, you will be entered a second time.  (I will enter your name in the drawing for as many people as you forward this to who also comment.) 

Your input it extrememly valuable! 

Thank you for your time!!

I've been a follower of Jesus for over 30 years, and have been teaching God's Word to students and women for nearly 20 years! God has brought me through some difficult chapters in my own life, and now my passion is equipping women like you with tools to embrace your own unexpected chapters in life with grace and truth.

25 comments on “Input Needed! Marriage Questions (for married and single peeps)

  1. 1. 26.5 years
    2. Being totally loved by choice.
    3. Give grace to each other. Forgive.
    4. Commitment.
    5. Love that is not based on feelings.
    6. Companionship, comfort and respect.
    7. Time. Prayer. Hope. Determination. Forgiveness.

  2. speakinginfaith

    Thanks, Kristin! I wish I was coming with my mom to Hastings next weekend 🙂 I’d love to see you!!

  3. Tish Thomson

    1. 41 years on May 9
    2. Knowing each night I can reach my foot out and know I am not alone.
    3. Be always willing to say you are sorry. Sometimes it may be hard and you may feel you are right but remember that you are ‘sorry’ that there is a problem.
    4. Knowing there is nothing more important than this relationship.
    5. It means patterning your love in your marriage after the love of our Father.
    6. Laughter and the understanding of each other and our needs that has evlved over time.
    7. Prayer, patience, realizing that life is not perfect yet striving for more love each day.

  4. Single…
    1. sharing experiences
    2. not living up to her expectations
    3. yes
    4. no
    5. dying to self
    6. concentrate on living a fulfilling single life
    7. definitely! learn about yourself and work on communication, compromising and dying to self skills.

  5. speakinginfaith

    Thanks for your time, Cliff! I appreciate it! Nashville’s not the same without you!

  6. speakinginfaith

    Thanks, Tish, and Happy Anniversary! Thanks for sharing wisdom from 40 years. I hope you have a great Mother’s Day and anniversary!

  7. Kathy Schneider

    1. 27 years
    2. companionship
    3. Don’t give up when things get rough. Love is a choice. There will be days when you won’t like your spouse, but you still choose to love them. Marriage is so much sweeter after having weathered the tough times.
    4. Commitment the value of our promise, our choice to love.
    5. Unconditional love-choosing to love the other through all things: when things are going great, when they are not, when you are in agreement and when you are not, even when you are hurt, and disappointed.
    6. Having someone to share life with, to come home to and be comfortable
    7. Prayer, commitment, choice and yes, even counseling! Do whatever it takes!

  8. Miranda Kokes

    Hi Faith! I need to connect with you at some point….your mom has probably told you about me. Dana Pavlik is a friend of mine from high school and your mom has told me all about you! We live in Franklin. I look forward to meeting you at some point! Here are some answers…hope they help! Happy Mother’s Day!
    1. Married almost 16 years
    2. Unconditional love….this man sees me at my worst yet still chooses to love me. It is the best representation here on earth of how my Father in heaven loves me.
    3. As you get older, and the “newness” wears off, unconditional love is a CHOICE…..not always a feeling. But the rewards of loving unconditionally are great!
    4. Unconditional love (are you seeing a theme?) We choose to love each other through the times when we are behaving in an “unloveable” way.
    5. Oh wow! #5 is a great question! 🙂 When your spouse has just done something that is mean, selfish, or just plain annoying, you choose to see his heart. You choose to love him in spite of that. You choose to be slow to speak. You choose to believe the best about him. You choose to understand that he is having a moment. And I know I am getting the same in return.
    6. Friendship and security. I love the routine. I love knowing he will always be there for me. I love knowing what he is thinking and what he is going to say before he says it. And yet….I am always learning something new.
    7. Prayer and Communication. Whenever we seem to be struggling, it is usually because one of us is not asking for what we need, not being honest about our feelings and/or we have let life get in the way and haven’t been praying together.

  9. speakinginfaith

    Has it really been 27 years? It doesn’t seem like that long ago since ya’ll went on your first date. Thanks for taking the time to share your answers! It was so great to see you last fall!

  10. speakinginfaith

    Let’s definitely connect! Dana is such a wonderful friend, she has mentioned you the last couple of times I’ve talked to her. Thanks for your answers. I appreciate it!

  11. 1. 18 years next month
    2. Always being there for each other. You are never walking alone. (Of course this is true with God too.)
    3. Always, ALWAYS, comunicate!!! And keep God at the center of your marriage. As you each grow closer to HIM, you will grow closer to each other. Pray together too. You can really know a person’s heart when you here them pray.
    4. God, communication, a commitment to love, to forgive and to respect, …and a little fun thrown in the mix.
    5. Choosing to love regardless of the other’s actions or attitude.
    6. Isn’t this the same as number 2?
    7. Communication, prayer and again, choosing to love. Quitting is not an option!

  12. I have been married 40 yrs. this coming August! The greatest part about being married for me is the companionship plus having another person help me with decisions! There are many great things about being marriage but those are probably the most important to me! Advice I would have for engaged couples would be to learn GOOD communication, to pray together every day & to get pre-marriage counseling by a pastor. Also I would add to be sure to continue to have dates, at least once a month (with each other of course!). What holds our marriage together (& has for 40 yrs.) is learning to communicate, a strong faith in God & attending a church together plus just the love we share not only with each other but with our kids & grandkids! Unconditional love is definitely loving him/her “no matter what”. It is keeping our marriage vows & loving in sickness & in health, etc. It is loving even the “not so lovely” things about him! We have had several major hardships in our marriage & have overcome them by counseling from an excellent Bible-believing Pastor & by looking to God to heal those hardships & help us realize that keeping our marriage together is EVERYTHING – whatever it takes. Also having the support of wonderful Christian friends has helped us through those hardships.

  13. Hope this helps you out Mrs. Faith!!!! I will forward your “input needed” request to some of my friends & relatives also! Hope all is well & I sure can’t wait to see that beautiful little Miss Janie Lou!!!!!

  14. 1. companionship, living life together, serving together, having someone to come home to, someone to take care of, someone to take care of me,

    2. that it won’t happen, that my expectations are too high, that I won’t be “good” enough

    3. YES!

    4. no

    5. putting the needs of someone else far ahead of your own, sacrifice

    6. by enjoying this season and now wallowing in the “misery” (as some would say) of singleness,

    7. most definitely yes, whether its learning how to cook as single lady or practicing hospitality, honoring people’s time, meeting the needs of others, learning to communicate well with friends and family, figuring out who YOU are. there is so much that we as single women can do

    (Faith, I know your dear mom from First Free. I was excited to read your blog at her suggestion via her email.)

  15. Janey Maddox

    1. 26 years
    2. having someone who has your back, who cares, to share all the joys,(and the hurt times) with
    3.Premarital counseling by a Christian, Biblically solid counselor.Wait for intimacy, be friends,know what they believe, if you agree that God’s word is true, and if you hold the same spiritual values.Know the true person- weak version and strong version. Go into it seriously, and above all, know you are following God’s plan for your lives.It is not like what you think.That doesn’t mean good or bad, just that you will have surprises.
    4.I know God picked him for me. My dependence is on the Lord.
    5.It forgives, it wants to give grace and mercy-in buckets when necessary. It walks beside you all the way,and never gives up. It doesn’t have to be right or first.It sees beyond skin,and believes the best of the intent of the other person, and wants the good of the other person above their own.It will fight for you, pray for you without stopping.Believes in you when you want to give up on yourself.Giving up what you want for what they need.You will give them your favorite thing-like the last bite of their ice cream:)
    6.I have loved having our children to love together- and now a grandbaby:)I love seeing him be happy. It has been an intense hard journey for us actually, and seeing a smile on his sweet face is a very big deal to me.I love his presence- hearing his footsteps when he comes home,all the little things are things I love.
    7. on my knees before the Lord. God’s grace,totally. one thing I know,that I am certain of, I need to have total reliance on the Lord. It is the only glue that sticks.I can’t do anything apart from God’s grace.That is not a cliche, it is an all the time thing, like breathing air.

  16. Nicole

    1. 10 months
    2. Getting to experience the adventure of life with my best friend by my side everyday.
    3. Marriage is fun and exciting and filled with so many different experiences and emotions. It is so important that you know how to communicate with your future spouse. Discuss what your expectations are for marriage and try to see if those expectations are realistic or not. I would also suggest to have a strong Godly Christian couple that they can have as mentors. It is wonderful to be able to talk about marriage with people that you love, respect and admire.
    4. Jesus being the center (individual time with the Lord, praying with each other and for each other), communication & laughter! We always tell each other before we fall asleep “I thank God that your my husband/wife!”
    5. Unconditional love is being loved and loving someone no matter, in the good times and the bad. In marriage you get to experience receiving and giving unconditional love, it is pretty unbelievable at times that someone can love you when you are at your worse. Then to think how much more Jesus loves us…pretty incredible!
    6. Laughing, laughing and laughing! It is so fun to experience life with my best friend.
    7. There are a lot of things, but the main being Jesus, love, forgiveness, communication and seeking wise counsel.

  17. Debbie

    1. Companionship. Someone to take care of and knowing that there’s someone who always has my back.
    2. Being left. The idea that I am too much work or I don’t measure up to his expectations.
    3. Yes.
    4. No.
    5. At the risk of sounding redundant and repetitive – it’s unconditional. It’s the idea that you face the world together, and no matter what I’ve got your back and you’ve got mine. We are the same.
    6. The understanding that relationship is so much giving allows me to enjoy being a little selfish about some things right now. If i don’t get around to the laundry today, it’s not that big of a deal. I can choose to do something for me without planning for someone else.
    7. I don’t see it as preparing for marriage as much as being the person I need to be where God put me. There is something to be said for how you treat people in terms of developing patience and other things a relationship requires. But that’s still drawing near to Him. When it’s right, it’s about God bringing two complete people together to become one better unit. It’s not about waiting for the day.

  18. friendofafriend

    married almost 2 years

    greatest part: being secure in someone’s love

    advice to engaged couples: keep the wedding cards people give you in a basket. Every night take one card, read it again, and pray for each other and the people who gave you the card.

    we often remind each other when we don’t seem to be on the same page: we are on ONE team. and the vows we said are still pretty fresh in our minds.

    unconditional love looks like sacrifice.

    I most enjoy knowing this is the person I’ll share most experiences with for the rest of my life.

    overcoming hardships takes communication and dogged perseverance.

  19. Danielle S.

    Married. 😉

    1. 6 years on September 24th of this year! 🙂
    2. Being with my best friend living life.
    3. I would tell engaged couples to focus more on the hard questions, and the marriage you’re about to enter into rather than being so focused on the wedding ceremony.
    4. Continually going back to the understanding that no matter how rough it gets we made a commitment before the Lord. Gods absolute grace!!
    5. Unconditional Love is something that is really hard for us to fathom. It ultimately looks like Christ’s love for us. More importantly it means forgiving when someone asks for it, and saying your sorry when you’re wrong (or sometimes when you don’t think you are).
    6. I enjoy having a companion that I can laugh with that loves me despite how horrible I can be at times.
    7. Prayer and accountability.

  20. 1. Married 16 months

    2. Having someone know me almost better than I know myself and be willing to encourage me to celebrate the person that God made me to be

    3. Form relationships with married couples of all ages who will be willing to speak truth into your lives during this important transition; spend more time preparing for marriage than for the wedding; be honest about the difficult questions–you can’t avoid them; learn each other’s communication styles

    4. Praying together every day, communicating honestly

    5. Never having to second-guess each other’s intentions; assuming the best about your spouse and giving them grace when they make mistakes; learning to love each other’s quirks

    6. Getting to spend every day with my best friend; discovering new things that we love about each other; sharing life

    7. Lots of prayer, trusting that God has already secured victory in the situation, we just need to surrender to His teaching and timing; honestly acknowledging where each of us fail and asking for forgiveness; giving grace

  21. Single

    1. Changing the Kingdom together–not sure what that will look like, but it happens as a single person so I look forward to having a someone to work with me at it.

    2. That i’ll come home and he will have “fallen out of love” with me. Possibility of abandonment. But I suppose he’ll be worth the risk. And there is grace on the other side of that as well.

    3. Yes

    4. No

    5. Jesus* Choosing to think of others more highly than yourself, accepting of faults, serving each other, etc

    6. I focus on enjoying today. I don’t know about tomorrow, but today he’s chosen for me to be single so I’m going to be all in, today, as a single person. I’m going to pursue what He’s given me to pursue. I’m going to love who He’s given me to love and serve who He’s given me to serve. Instead of having one person to focus on–I get more.

    7. Yes/No. I think you can read a lot of books about marriage but until your in it–you really don’t “know” know. However, I can work on knowing myself. If I know who I am, in Christ, it will help me be able to not use him as my all and all. I already have one of those. I can learn about how I communicate and what I would need to work on in a relationship. I can fight against the non-healthy tendencies and deal with my “baggage” so it doesn’t bleed into my marriage. I can learn to forgive past hurts as a single so can learn how to forgive my future spouse, etc.

  22. Pingback: And the winners are… « Speaking in Faith Blog

  23. speakinginfaith

    Winners of the CD announced. Click here to see if you won!

  24. 1. How long have you been married?
    12 years

    2. What is the greatest part about being married?
    the support I feel for being who God called me to be – I have someone in my corner, who has my back and seeks to make me smile every day

    3. What advice would you give engaged couples about marriage?
    make your relationship with Christ a priority, learn as much about as each other as possible – how you handle conflict, how you process stress … & being in the Word together & praying for each other is a necessity

    4. What holds your marriage together?
    the grace of God
    prayer and seeking God’s will for our lives

    5. What does unconditional love look like?
    It looks like Jesus’ sacrifice … but it’s detrimental to your marriage to believe each day will be a perfect reflection of that … our sinful nature will muck it up, especially if our expectations are off. Pete Wilson had a great series on Five Things about Marriage and the Expectations sermon really hit me … my needs are met & identity found through Christ – not my marriage (or family, job, etc.). Greg doesn’t owe me anything.

    6. What do you enjoy most about being married?
    I count it a high honor to be paired in this life with such an honorable, servant-hearted man.

    7. How do you overcome hardships in your marriage? faith, prayer and lots of grace … don’t be afraid to say you’re sorry … in fact, jump at the chance – nothing is gained by trying to be right all the time … marriage is a gift and we need to treat it as such

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