Today we are going to spend our final day looking that the misconception that says, “When I get married I will have arrived!”
As a young adult I remember there was some handout that seemed to accompany every purity talk or discussion on singleness. Someone wrote it from the perspective of God writing to a singleton. I think the person who wrote this letter had good intentions, but the older I got, I more I disliked this “letter.” I don’t have a copy of the letter, so I can’t tell you who wrote it or quote it directly, but I remember the jist of the letter.
Essentially, the letter said that God was working on me in my singleness and was also working on my future spouse. It purposed that when we were both “ready,” then and only then would God bring our hearts together. We would both be complete and thus have a perfect marriage because we had entered marriage “ready” by God’s standards.
Now, I do believe that we shouldn’t rush into marriage and that it is a great thing when we have time to mature on our own before we do enter a covenant relationship with God and our spouse. However, I remember being 25 and hearing this “letter” being read for the 500th time (it seemed), and looking at the married couples around me thinking, “I really can’t say you are more spiritually mature than I am.” The fallacy of this letter is that it claims that if you do everything correctly spiritually, when you hit a certain maturity level then and only then will God bring you your spouse. This simply isn’t true.
God brings people together at all different stages in life and at all different maturity levels. And many people get married because they want to, not because it is God’s time or even God’s person. As I told you earlier this week, I was very close to marrying the wrong man at the wrong time. Marrying him wouldn’t have meant that I had arrived spiritually. It just meant, a man asked me to marry him and I said, “yes.”
I understand that the author of this “letter” was trying to comfort singletons by giving them an excuse as to why they were single, but I think Paul addresses singleness in a much better way. Let’s take a look at this: